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Monday, November 28, 2011

Skyrim: Wife Beating...

In Skyrim there is no way to get a divorce (not that I know of) once you get married. Luckily, marriage is only good till "death do us part", and in Skyrim death is easy to come by.

Personally, I prefer to use a weapon for beating my wife that doesn't have a lot of power. If you've been to prison you can snag a type of "shank", otherwise a dagger will do, or if you're a real man just go ahead and use your fists.

Since the guards in Skyrim don't see your wife as being your property they will intervene if they see you beating her. Wife beating is best done in the home away from anyone else, especially the guards. You can also stage her death to make it look like an accident (there no life insurance in Skyrim so not much point in this), go to the top of a cliff and use your shout to "push" her off the edge.

Why beat your wife?

Good question, I'm glad you asked...

 In Skyrim when you marry someone they start up a little shop (I don't know if this holds true for every character). The first time, my wife gave me my share of the profits, about $1200. They should all be mine, but hey, why get hung up on the small things. Now everytime I talk to her it's only about $300, I think the longer you wait inbetween asking her the more profits acrue, however, that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted that money so I could create a better life for us. I'm out defeating dragons and she has the nerve to try and give me some of the money! Oh well...

**Domestic Violence is never funny, if you or someone you know is being abused call this hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

If you've been beaten to the point where you are deaf they also have a number for the hearing impaired:

1-800-787-3224 (TTY)


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